11 July 2012

What do you "do"?

I've sat down about a hundred times to write this post.  The post in which I define my role. In our home.  In the "workplace".  As a mom who is seeking part-time work, but not in exchange for cutting my "mom" hours. 

The truth is, I can not and will not define this role myself.  I can only be faithful with what God has given me.  A wonderful, God-fearing husband, a beautiful little girl who needs Jesus, and more than we deserve.

I fail daily as a wife and a mother and a woman who claims to know and love God.  Sometimes to the point where I'm tempted to cast aside this work as yet another failed experiment in my search for the perfect, fulfilling, well-paying dream career.  But the Lord is faithful, and gently reminds me that the point of my failing is my failing. 

Does any of that make sense? 

I guess what I'm trying to say is that as much as I would prefer a list of dos and don'ts, tasks next to a small, black box that I can fill with a check-marks and never think of again, motherhood and wifehood and christianhood doesn't work that way. 

So there is no clearly defined role.  The perfect mom, who always has it together.  She showers daily and dinner is never burned, nor is there a speck of dust on her side table or the inner workings of her heart.  She is not here and may not be anywhere, except a pinterest board.

Instead, I'm full of imperfections and love for a great God and family.  And that great God is each day molding our family into one that will struggle and, Lord willing, do things for His kingdom.  I guess that's what you could say I "do".

Notice there are no pictures here.  I simply don't have it in me.

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