Gilliam Family 25 Days of Christmas: The Fourth and Final Sunday of Advent

It is the final Sunday of Advent, and I can already feel my mind and my heart wandering.  We are just a few days away from that most precious and most busy of holidays.  I find myself wandering if I have enough things to give, when I should be asking if I have given enough of myself.  I'm beginning to fret about all the places we need to be and when and how the kids are going to nap.

This morning, even as we reviewed I began to feel less awed by these things.  Advent means..coming.  Who is coming?...baby Jesus.  First candle:  God is our Shepherd.  Second candle:  Jesus brings forgiveness.  Third.  Wait with joy.  All things I recited in the least joyful of mindsets.

But God.  He breaks in.  He tugs at our hearts.  He grabs us by the shoulders and begs us not to settle for simply feeling warm inside and opening nice presents that are all tied up with string, when the King of Glory is within our grasp.

Today we are reminded who is coming.  We are waiting for the Son.  He was fully God and fully man.  Fully God's son and fully born of Mary's womb.  For the Believer, He is our Hope--and the reason that we fight for more than just delighting in the things we have this season.

Today we read:

Psalm 89:1-4, 19-37, 46-52

A celebrating of God's covenant with David, which is fulfilled in Jesus.

Isaiah 9:1-7

Deliverance is promised through a king that is born of David's line.

Luke 1:26-38

Mary is visited by the angel Gabriel, and he tells her good news, that she will bare a son who is called Emmanuel, for He will be with us.

We are praying that even as we enjoy exchanging gifts with one another, and watching our little ones tear into new toys, we would be ever mindful of the Son.  With baby Jesus' first coming, a promise was fulfilled and God's redemption plan was set into motion.  Now, for the believer, we can look back on Jesus' first coming with hope in His second coming.  Amen.

Gilliam Family 25 Days of Christmas: Christmas Cheer!

One thing I love about this season is getting snail mail from friends near and far in the form of Christmas cards!  I love to display them and see how peoples' lives have changed and children have grown over the years.  This year I have taken particular time to pray for each of the people in the cards we have received, and it has been a wonderful time of remembering the ways that each of these people has been a part of our lives.  I must, however, give credit for that idea where it is due.

You may know my friend and mother-in-law, Cathy Baker, who writes at Fragrant Ink.  She is in the middle of a fantastic blog series called "Simple {Meaningful} Ways to Celebrate Christmas, which gives daily doses of the Christmas spirit.  My favorite post so far was this one, where she encouraged us to pray for the people in who sent Christmas well wishes as we received them.  All the other posts are wonderful, and take very little time in reminding us to pause to remember what this season is all about.

What a joyous thing it is to know that we live in community and can send up prayers on one another's behalf.  I should note that when I posted a similar notion to social media, several asked if they were still being thought of despite not having sent any Christmas cards.  The answer is a resounding YES! 

Here is our Christmas cheer display.  It's sits right above our dining room table so we can stare at it often. 

Gilliam Family 25 Days of Christmas: Fixing Our Eyes

Things have been a bit quieter on the 'ole blog this week, but it's not for lack of Christmas spirit.   It's busyness--but good busyness.

This past weekend, Zach and I got to sneak away to Charleston for a night to celebrate the gift that God has given us in marriage--5 years of marriage to be exact.  Is it cliche' to say that I love him more than I did 5 years ago?  And so much more than I did 11 years ago when he asked me to be his girlfriend on a frisbee field?

We laughed at ourselves upon deciding that while it is weird to say, "We got married 5 whole years ago.", it is far more strange for us to say, "We got married 2 whole kids ago!"

December 12, 2009

The trip to Charleston was a last minute surprise from Zach who knew that, while our planned "staycation" would have been wonderful as long as we were together, a night away would give us more time to connect.  It was wonderful-- as is evidenced by the view from our hotel room on the river.

In addition to an anniversary, we are also celebrating the holidays with church friends, family, and Zach's co-workers this week. We are fighting the "Christmas crud"; because what would a holiday season be without runny noses and coughing?  We are crafting--I wish I could share with you guys but I'm pretty sure that about 90% of my readership (ie grandparents) will be receiving said crafts as Christmas gifts, and I don't want to ruin any surprises.

Gabe is always the trooper, even when he spends half the night coughing.

But mostly, the Lord is making Himself known to us more and more.  Our girl loves to read about and talk about Advent.  She loves reciting the reasons that we light each candle.  And I love to say it out loud again and again:  We have HOPE this season because of God's great plan for redemption, that started with a baby that was called "Emmanuel".  Fixing our eyes on that truth has been so encouraging, and gives me no cause for concern that Christmas is 8 days away and I have purchased nary a gift.

Gilliam Family 25 Days of Christmas: The Third Sunday of Advent

Happy Advent; a time where we look forward to the coming of Christ as a baby--the Savior of the world--and the second coming of Christ when He will make all things new.

So far, we lit a candle to celebrate that Jesus would come to "be our Shepherd", and spent the first week of Advent reflecting on what a wonderful thing it is the way that God looks after those who are His.

During week two we remembered that the baby Jesus came with a very specific purpose, to bring forgiveness for our sins--that the Shepherd who cares for us also humbled Himself and became the

lamb who was slain.

Here we are, this third Sunday of Advent and we will focus on:  Waiting with Joy!  I would encourage you to follow the link to read what Mark D. Roberts has to say about this season, and the joy we have in particular.  I am learning and soaking in just as much as our wide-eyed 3 year old this season, and I find that by placing special emphasis on the Advent of Christ (I mean more than your typical reading of Luke 2 before your tear into your gifts on Christmas morning) it has truly brought Christ to the forefront of our holidays, and sent commercialization to the background. 

This week we read scriptures that speak to the joy we have in placing our hope in God.  It brings about joy within us, even during trials and while facing a sin-sick world, because we know that our hope is in a sure thing.  Praise the Lord!

Psalm 126:1-6

Zephaniah 3:14-20

Philippians 4:4-7

"Today we remember the joy of waiting, because we know how the story ends!"

      -Mark D. Roberts

Gilliam Family 25 Days of Christmas: Parade

If you've ever met me you know that I love a good parade, which is why I was disappointed that our small town Christmas parade fell on the weekend when the kids and I were supposed to be traveling.  I shared yesterday how our weekend plans fell through due to illness, and what a needed break it was during such a busy season.

One other redeeming factor of the weekend was that we got to continue the tradition of my dragging my husband to do something he particularly hates as I giggle like a school girl.  It was particularly important for me to be there for this year's Simpsonville Christmas Parade because, Lord willing, from here on out when we get to attend this event it will be as visitors to this town.  As I've mentioned in previous posts, we feel that God is doing great things in Greer, a city up the road, and we are praying that he would have us there by this time next year.

That being said, I soaked in every moment of this afternoon.  We got to watch our Alma mater's football team lead off the parade, fresh off a win in the state championship game this weekend.  The weather was perfect and windy--some may disagree, but I think you should always have to bundle up a little for a parade. Piper eventually succumbed to being cold, as is evidenced by her refusal to cooperate for a picture below, but was initially very enthusiastic, and Gabe was happy to point out everything he saw as long as he had a snack in hand.  And Zach was glad to comply once he had a bag of boiled peanuts (and was able to swipe some of the candies that local businesses were throwing out).

Gilliam Family 25 Days of Christmas: Stolen Time

This weekend was an unexpected blessing wrapped in a horrendous stomach bug that took out both of our children.

The plan was for the kids and I to visit family for a Christmas get-together, something I look forward to all year.  When Piper woke up feeling ill on the morning we were to leave, I even told thought that we still might be able to make the trip, but I was kidding myself.  Zach had some plans of his own, house projects and guy time, that were put on hold to spend extra time with our sickies.

The truth is, I was really bummed about missing out on a chance to get out of town for the weekend and spend time with many family members that I won't have the opportunity to see again until next Christmas.

But instead of the things we had planned, the Lord gave us a weekend of rest and put the busiest time of the year on pause.

We exhausted our stack of Christmas books, listened to some of our favorite Christmas hymns, lingered on the couch with some of our go-to flicks, never changed out of our PJs, and of course, did a lot of extra cuddling.  There was also a lot of saltines and ginger ale, but you guys don't really want those details.  The kiddos are feeling better-ish and we are wiser about our need for time-outs during the chaos.

Isn't it wonderful the way that God transforms terrible things, like stomach bugs and our sin, into things that are righteous and redeemed.  He is good.

Gilliam Family 25 Days of Christmas: The Second Sunday of Advent

This week as we have gone about our days, we have taken time to be thankful for baby Jesus who came to be our Shepherd.  You can read here about how we celebrated the first Sunday of Advent.  Piper asks to light the candle every time we are at the table, and I'm loving the truths she is learning about God's faithfulness as we have coupled our weekly Advent readings with daily ones from the Jesus Storybook Bible.  We are all benefiting from the daily reminder of God's BIG plan for the redemption of His people for His glory.

The first week we were waiting for our Shepherd.
This week we are "waiting for forgiveness".

The Advent of Jesus was so much more than a miraculous birth, or the coming of a King; it meant that forgiveness for our sins had come.  Forgiveness that we so desperately need is within our grasp.  Forgiveness comes from our Father in heaven, and requires that He become a part of us that He might fully know our struggles and fully defeat them.

This week we read:

Psalm 130:1-8

The Psalmist makes a supplication to God for forgiveness.

Jeremiah 31:31-34

God promises the New Covenant.  Praise be, He will remember our iniquity no more.

Luke 1:68-79

Zechariah's prophecy, after the birth of his son, John the Baptist.  He will prepare the way for the Lord, who is tender in His mercy and will make a way for our salvation.

^{Jeremiah 31 31} “Behold, days are coming,” declares the Lord, “when I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel and with the house of Judah, ³² not like the covenant which I made with their fathers in the day I took them by the hand to bring them out of the land of Egypt, My covenant which they broke, although I was a husband to them,” declares the Lord. ³³ “But this is the covenant which I will make with the house of Israel after those days,” declares the Lord, “I will put My law within them and on their heart I will write it; and I will be their God, and they shall be My people. ³⁴ They will not teach again, each man his neighbor and each man his brother, saying, ‘Know the Lord,’ for they will all know Me, from the least of them to the greatest of them,” declares the Lord, “for I will forgive their iniquity, and their sin I will remember no more.”

We are praying that God continues to change us through His story, that we might know Him more with each passing day, and that we would receive fully the forgiveness that He gives us through Jesus Christ. 

Read more about why our family decided to be intentional about the way we celebrate Christmas with our children here. 

Gilliam Family 25 Days of Christmas: Paper Chain Garland

Well, I told you that our Christmas activities would be simple, and simple they are.  We started out with paper chain holiday garland.  It is impossibly simple, wonderfully festive, and requires just the right amount of hand eye coordination to be slightly challenging for a 3 year old.

I will not insult your intelligence with a "tutorial".  It is the same paper chain that you learned to make in kindergarten, I just added the word garland because it's Christmas time.  I repeat, there is a heavy emphasis on "simple" around here.  We used old wrapping paper that I got from the dollar section at target a couple years ago.

As for Piper, she got a bit frustrated.  I find that I'm not always the most patient of teachers, and struggle to articulate simple tasks like fashioning a strip of paper into a loop.  There was turmoil at first, but hearing Piper shout, "Mom, I did it!", will never get old.  Gabe on the other hand loved this project, and I'm still finding tiny bits of paper that he shredded all over the house.

I know it's not the most impressive Christmas craft, but it's ours and we spent time together and I love looking at it each time I walk by the door way. 

Is it just me or is December flying by?

Gilliam Family 25 Days of Christmas: Our Peace

Would you believe that it is only the bloody fourth of December, and I'm already getting that sinking feeling?

The one where I'm getting stressed about the events to get to, and the things to get done, and the presents to buy, and realizing that my heart is prone to wander from the real magic of this season.  I told you that I would share the good and the bad during this month, so here it is.

We are doing a "smaller" Christmas this year.  Circumstances that we are very thankful for have made it so.  I'm actually looking forward to simplifying.  But the enemy has wasted no time in telling me lies that I have believed.  Our family will only know our love for them by a dollar amount.  We won't have as much fun if there isn't as much to open.  Our kids will somehow be missing out if they have homemade or thrifted gifts.  What kind of parents are we saying that our little ones don't get to pay 12 bucks a pop to wear their pajamas and sip cocoa with a guy in a red suit.

We are using this plan to read about God's redemptive plan in bringing His son to Earth to save us all.  Today we read about how God used Noah, and made a promise, and foretold His greater plan.  Its been a great vehicle for telling Piper about the "big picture".  But I may need to skip ahead in the story today.  For times when I struggle to see the "big picture", God in His infinite goodness gives me His word and the Holy Spirit.

Micah 5² “But as for you, Bethlehem Ephrathah,
Too little to be among the clans of Judah,
From you One will go forth for Me to be ruler in Israel.
His goings forth are from long ago,
From the days of eternity.”
³ Therefore He will give them up until the time
When she who is in labor has borne a child.
Then the remainder of His brethren
Will return to the sons of Israel.
⁴ And He will arise and shepherd His flock
In the strength of the Lord,
In the majesty of the name of the Lord His God.
And they will remain,
Because at that time He will be great
To the ends of the earth.
⁵ This One will be our peace.
When the Assyrian invades our land,
When he tramples on our citadels,
Then we will raise against him
Seven shepherds and eight leaders of men.

He will be our peace.  How beautiful the thought, which echoes louder each time I start to believe that Christmas is about gifts.

Gilliam Family 25 Days of Christmas: Teachable Moments

One thing I heard from all of my professors as I was earning a degree in Education was you should always take advantage of "teachable moments".  These are times when you are teaching your students and a question or subject comes up that is not in your plans, but has relevance to the material you are covering or life in general.

As I said before, the number one rule of the Gilliam Family 25 Days of Christmas is that we are always looking for ways to fix our eyes on Jesus, and encourage our children to do so.  We are just a few days into December, and already I'm learning that the "teachable moments" are much more effective in pointing out the reason we celebrate than are the plans.  I'm so encouraged by the way that the Lord reveals Himself to us in the nitty gritty moments, and we are praying that the Lord would use these moments to draw our children into His fold.

Speaking of "folds", the talk of Shepherds has brought about teachable moments.  The first Sunday of Advent we talked about how we are "Waiting for our Shepherd" (you can read about it here), and every time we are at the table where our Advent wreath sits we have reviewed with Piper.  What does "advent" mean?  What our we celebrating and hoping in as we light the first candle?  God is our _______?  I'm finding that repetition is key with a 3 year old, but as we reviewed I realized that she had no concept of a shepherd.  So we spent time this morning talking about and looking at pictures of shepherds and sheep and comparing them to the way that God cares for us.  I read her Psalm 23 with new eyes.  I pray that she heard.

Perhaps my favorite moment has come as a result of our advent calendar.  We were gifted this children's Advent calendar with a character or animal for each day of December that sticks to a nativity scene, with the last character being the baby Jesus in a manger.  Piper and Gabe have both become enamored with it, and while he just went for it, she kept asking to choose her favorite characters.  Repeatedly.  From the moment it came out of the Christmas box.

As I said, "No, you have to wait until December" for the hundredth time I realized that WAITING is what the Advent season is all about.  Now when she asks to pull all the people we are able to have a meaningful discussion about how Jesus'
coming was promised long before it actually happened.  God's people waited for Jesus to come to Earth as a baby.  He did.  He died on the cross for our sins, and He rose from the dead.  Now we are God's people, and we are waiting for Jesus to come again.

Oh, that she might know and love the story that is God's plan for redemption.  Amen.

Read about how the Gilliam Family 25 Days of Christmas got started here.

Gilliam Family 25 Days of Christmas: On This First Sunday of Advent

What a beautiful tradition in the christian church, the celebration of Advent.  A time we set aside to truly dwell on what "was" to come:  that the King that we have waited for was born, and He was called Emmanuel, because it means "God with us". 

As a part of our family Christmas this year we will take time each Sunday to light the Advent candles and read about how we can further experience the story of Jesus.  I'm especially excited about this new tradition as it is a liturgy that I find particularly beautiful.

We don't actually posses an "Advent Wreath", so I had to get a little creative...at the Dollar Store.  I tried to remember the general look of wreaths that I had seen before as I shopped, and I came away with a beautiful Christmas plate, a small wreath, a pack of votives (you need 4) and some votive holders, and a slightly bigger candle (of which you will only need 1).

The wreath had a small bow on it, which I removed, and then it was a simple matter of arranging.  I didn't go with traditional purple, but I love what we came up with and feel the importance lies in the meaning.

Tradition dictates that Advent be celebrated on each of the four Sundays leading up to Christmas.  I found the weekly readings here, but you can find what works best for you and your family.  I love the emphasis on "waiting"--as a child it seems like it can take forever for Christmas day to come so that we can see what is waiting for us beneath the tree, but how much more expectant and hopeful is the wait for a Savior.

November 30- Waiting for the Shepherd

Psalm 80:1-7

In this Psalm, we join the people of Israel as they invite God their Shepherd to save and to restore them.

Isaiah 40:1-11

This passage looks ahead to the coming of the Lord, who will care for his people like a shepherd.

Revelation 7:9-17

Like God’s people before the coming of Christ, we also look ahead to the time when Christ, who is both the Lamb and our Shepherd, will finish his work and “God will wipe away every tear” from our eyes.

We are praying that our hearts will be pierced by His word, and that the Jesus will make Himself known to us even more richly during this holiday season.

Read about how the Gilliam Family 25 Days of Christmas came about here.

Gilliam Family 25 Days of Christmas

Last year on Halloween night we were sitting at home.  Gabe was just a few days old, we were in complete survival mode, and as the doorbell began to ring we realized that we had completely forgotten a holiday that most children adore.  Y'all know I don't get too beat up about Halloween and Piper didn't realize she was missing anything , but I began to fear that her experience of Christmas might be the same as we continued to fumble our way through this new stage of life, living on little sleep and even less energy for anything other than basic needs.  Thus, the Gilliam Family 25 Days of Christmas was born.

I sat down with a calendar.  I filled in what we already had reserved in December with church events, work parties, family get-togethers, and the like, and then I filled in the rest of the days with fun, but manageable Christmas themed activities.  The items on the list ranged from "read a Christmas story in our PJs while we drink hot chocolate before bed" to "pile in the car to drive around and pick your favorite Christmas light displays" and "decorate a Gingerbread house together".  This year, I have come up with a similar calendar and with a little more time to prepare, have been able to plan for daily readings from the Jesus Storybook Bible- you can find a guide here.

There are only 2 rules when it comes to the Gilliam Family 25 Days of Christmas:
1.  In everything we do, we look for every opportunity to point our children and ourselves to Jesus.  We would be remiss if our Christmas festivities didn't focus on our reason for celebrating.  This doesn't mean that we shun Santa or Christmas trees, we are just always looking for ways to redeem our time and celebrate the gospel.  I would love to expound on this later.
2.  We are flexible.  If I've learned one thing as a parent it's that where there is no flexibility there is no fun.  I've wasted many an hour crying over what didn't go perfectly, and missed opportunities for sweet family time.  We definitely didn't get to everything on our list last year, and we probably won't do everything on our list this year.  The important thing is, we are fixing our eyes on Jesus and creating memories with our family.

It is my hope that I'll get to feature some of our activities during the month of December.  I'll share what goes right, what goes terribly wrong, and hopefully, the ways the Lord uses this season to draw us closer to Himself.

In light of the coming holiday...

Pardon me while I rant for just a moment.  I resent the fact that people hate on us Christmas lovers; claiming that by enjoying the Christmas lights that were hung by our neighbors a full week ago and the familiar sounds of crooners seranading us with "chestnuts roasting on an open fire", we are neglecting Thanksgiving and are therefore not thankful.  I can't think of Christmas without feeling grateful, and I love Thanksgiving as a vital part of the holiday season. That being said...

Today and I am thankful for a God that provides, in so many ways.  When we hear that "God is our provider" we can tend to think of physical needs and monetary gain, and he is certainly that.  It is amazing to look back on those scary moments when Zach and I were newlyweds learning how to provide for ourselves and see that God, in every circumstance, was the one who filled our every need.  In times where we said, "We need just a little bit more, God.", he provided, often by giving us that little bit more, but more often by showing us His sufficiency.  We have never gone hungry, never been without a roof over our head, and never wanted for anything that we needed.  Praise God.

But God as provider is so much more, because God as provider means that He made a way for us.  He gives us grace and a means to know Him.  He gives us fellowship with other believers and with His son, Jesus.  He gives us encouragement and mercy for each new day, and He gives us hope that will see His goodness in the land of the living.

So, while I may already be listening to "jingle bells" and watching "Elf", I am thanking the Lord for His goodness and faithfulness each day and each year, and looking forward to sharing that sentiment with loved ones on Thursday.  This year I'm responsible for desserts, so look for some recipes soon.

 

for Marion Piper-- a late birthday letter

You are three years old, and have sass for miles.  My dear Marion Piper, I vividly remember the moment when I discovered you were growing inside me; when the technician told a very surprised Daddy and I that you were a girl; the months I spent wondering what you would look like and who you would be; and then the moment I first held you.  

We were recently talking with friends who described you simply as "Piper".  There's really no other way to say it.  We've spent these past few years growing in our love for you, giggling uncontrollably with you, and praying for your soul.

You and I have had a tough year, learning what it means to be mom and daughter.  They say that children are sponges, soaking up every bit of knowledge they encounter, but I'm certain that I've learned the most as we've transitioned into toddler-hood with you.  Forgive me for my impatience.  I need grace every day to love you as God would have me to, and to share the gospel with you in word and in deed.  Thank you for accepting my tearful "sorries" and thank you for learning to say "sorry" yourself.  

I love your vibrant take on life and the way that you excitedly share the things your experiencing with us.  Your favorites are, of course, princesses, but I love to see that your play is branching out--doctoring and mothering your toys and others around you.  Your energy seems endless, until bedtime when you love to cuddle with "gaffy" and Daddy. 

Did I mention that you are a wonderful big sister.  We've done a lot of learning about what it means to be gentle with Gabriel, but no one can make him laugh like you.  I love the way you sing to him when he's crying, and tell him he's a rascal when he's getting into stuff.

We love you, sweet Piper, more and more each day.  Our prayer is that God would call you to Himself and that you would live a radical life enjoying His rich gospel.

never grow up

"All children, except one, grow up.”
― J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan 

I never realized how creepy some of the elements of Peter Pan are until I planned a "Neverland" themed birthday party.  I mean, he says some weird stuff.

I'm excited to spend time with family and friends, and even some little friends, for Piper and Gabriel's birthdays tomorrow.  But how are we already here?  I don't always feel like a grown-up myself, and somehow I'm responsible for these little lives and hearts.  

Alas, my children are growing.  And we are celebrating. But first, I am remembering the feeling of holding each of them for the first time, and praying that I never lose that memory. 

Marion Piper.  November 2011.

Gabriel Paton.  October 2013.

a love for the saints

The realization that we are wrong is earth-shattering.  It can make us retreat to our inner-selves where there is no one to challenge our carefully crafted walls.  It can make us stumble around in the darkness, and even deny logic if only it would mean that we don't have to admit defeat.  It can make us hardened to the truth.

At some point in my early adult life, after being privileged with sitting under the very richest of Bible teaching and embracing doctrine that opened my eyes to the unfathomable beauty that is God's plan for redemption, I began to realize that I was wrong. 

I recently heard our pastor talk about two opposing human responses to receiving a gift:  1.  We are filled with gratitude to the gift giver, praising him for his goodness.  OR 2.  We begin to believe that there is something praise-worthy in ourselves, and the giver of such gifts is doing so because we are most deserving.

Unfortunately, upon receiving the gift of a new understanding of God's glory and goodness I became puffed up with knowledge.  I thought that the little understanding that I had gave me the corner on truth.  I turned from the giver of all gifts, and His word, because I thought I had it all figured out.

The results were a lonely, discouraged girl who had managed to isolate herself.  I began to realize I was wrong, but took the most difficult approach in course-correcting.  I retreated.  I justified.  I maintained that my behavior was right, because I still believed my thinking was right.  I hardened myself towards those who seemed joyful in their service of Christ and His church.  His church.

It was then, that the Lord broke in and showed me His love for His church.  He began to unravel the tightly wound cords that composed my self-centered idea of what Church should look like.  He rearranged my list of priorities in the Church.

Ephesians 5 is your typical wedding passage, instructing husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church.  How did He love the church?

24But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. 25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, 26so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,…

Christ gave Himself up for her, His bride, and I discarded her because of doctrinal differences. 

These days, my mantra has changed.  I've learned to love truth because of the way it puts God's glory on display and sets His church free.  And I'm learning to love community with the saints of God, knowing that without it we might not make it.

Hebrews 10
²³ Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. ²⁴ And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, ²⁵ not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.

Halloween

Halloween is my least favorite holiday, and it is definitely something we awkwardly dance around.  Neither Zach nor I have many childhood experiences with Halloween, and therefore we aren't really sure exactly what to do with it.  We don't necessarily find it right or wrong, we are just indifferent about it.

But having a three year old certainly gave us some inclination to participate and while we didn't go all-out, I did thrift some costumes together and we may or may not have visited a "Fall Festival" at a sister church. 

The results were completely adorable, and we may just quit turning out our lights and hiding under the blankets every last night in October.

Piper was Sheriff Callie from Disney Junior.  I cried at how this picture turned out, because she looks like such a "little girl".  We had most of these things on hand, but I spent a few bucks on that pink, foam cowboy hat (which I glued cat ears to) and a pink bandana.  I used a brown paper bag for the vest, and voila!  She had no idea that I didn't drop 35 bucks on a fancy Princess gown.

Gabe was a monkey!  He was so cute and so compliant.  I found this costume in perfect condition at a local thrift store for 4 dollars, and little did we know how chilly it would be.  His digs definitely won the award for the warmest!

Until next year..

Resting

We are in the middle of an exciting and busy couple of weeks.  Weeks where things that are good have potential to become distractions that divert our eyes from Jesus and His mission.

My prayer for myself, and my husband, and our children is that we would rest.  That there would be physical rest in the midst of a hectic schedule, and that we would rest in the promises of our heavenly Father.

As my [almost] three year old loves to remind us at bedtime, "Mama, guess who doesn't sleep!?"  And then she whispers in a tone of awe, "God."  A simple truth we shared with her one night when the darkness was closing in and restless dreams were making empty threats.   Desperate for sleep ourselves, we shared an attribute of our protector not knowing that it would have such an impact.
    
     He will not allow your foot to slip; He who keeps you will not slumber.  Behold, He who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.  The Lord is your keeper; The Lord is your shade on your right hand.
Psalm 121:3-5 

As the days get busy and we are moving from one event to the next and I'm worrying about being late or what we will wear or who will show up, may the Lord remind us to rest in His goodness and faithfulness.  To rest, because He doesn't.

for Gabe on your first birthday

How has a whole year already passed us by?  A year filled with struggle, and sleeplessness, and adventure, and joy.  So much joy.

Your smile can light up a room, my little lion man, and you certainly have your father's charm.  As well as his dreamy, blue eyes.  They perfectly compliment your kind face and your strong, broad shoulders.

It's safe to say that you stole our hearts from the moment you entered this world, but that love has only grown more love as the months have stretched on.  The way you are ever the inquirer.  The way you watch your daddy's every move, and want to be a part of his world.  The way that you laugh at your big sister and patiently endure her antics.  The way that you only have eyes for your mama--at least for now.

We are praying for you, dear boy.  That the Lord, Jesus would cause you to know and love Him.  That you might be a man of courage and conviction.  That you would live in a manner worthy of your calling. And, though I dread the thought, that you might patiently wait for a girl to come along who loves Jesus and will faithfully serve along side you in the work of the gospel.

Happy Birthday sweet Gabriel.  You are a precious gift from God.

beauty for Friday

 
It was, as I have said, a fine autumnal day; the sky was clear and serene, and nature wore that rich and golden livery which we always associate with the idea of abundance. The forests had put on their sober brown and yellow, while some trees of the tenderer kind had been nipped by the frosts into brilliant dyes of orange, purple, and scarlet.
 -Washington Irving, The Legend of Sleepy Hollow 

extra grace for today

This morning we are weak and weary after a night in which the two littlest members of our household aligned themselves at bedtime and waged war against rest.  I struggled to have patience and a good attitude this morning during oatmeal served with a side of tantrums, and felt desperate for what would become of the day.

Finally, after I forbid my three year old from singing any more at the breakfast table, the Lord broke in.  Sweet Piper is so resilient, and held my hand as we pleaded with God for our day.  That we would live it in a way that is worthy of His calling on our lives.  That He would give us extra grace and rest.  We need rest.

Our prayer may not have been so eloquent.  More like, "God, please help us.", amidst tears of exhaustion.

Next, Piper asked me to read from the Jesus Storybook Bible.  We landed on the story of A Little Girl and a Poor Frail Lady from Luke 8.  Of course, I was struck by the miracle of Jarius' daughter being brought back from sickness and death.  But that isn't the whole story.  God is great in the way that He can put His glory on display in doing the impossible, while teaching us not to overlook the small details.

Jarius had enough faith to go to Jesus when his daughter was ill, however when his servants came to him with news of the child's death it seemed that all hope was lost.  But the frail, old lady they met along the way simply wrecked me.  She felt certain that if she could simply touch the robe of Jesus, she would be healed.  And she was.  And what's more, hope was not lost for the little girl.  A beautiful picture of the day we look forward to when the sad things of this world are made untrue at Jesus' return.

We cried out to God for help at our breakfast table, and He replied with simple instruction on faith.  He said to us, through the story of this faithful, sickly woman, You believed, and now you are well.  

Lord, I believe.  Only help my unbelief.

His mercies

She is nine years old with no understanding of forgiveness other than to ask for it.  So she does, every day, for the same mistakes.  Little does she know that He nailed it to the cross long ago.

She is a teenager who's been sold a feel-good gospel and a Jesus who is our "homeboy"  It seems like God should be...bigger.  He is showing her how great her need is, and how much greater her Savior is.

She is entering adulthood, and hides her doubts with an air of certainty and self-righteousness.  God is breaking her heart and showing her His great love, for her and for others.

She is a new mom who every day listens to the whispers of the enemy:  You aren't enough.  You don't contribute.  You fail daily to be patient, and clean the house, and keep it together.  The Father of light is daily giving her grace, and wrapping her heart in His truth:  I've made you new, and that is enough.  I've given you a task, and that is a contribution.  My grace is sufficient for all your many failures. 

Praise be to God that His mercies are new every morning, because our need is new every morning.  The wonderful thing about our Savior is that He didn't save us; He is [every day] saving us.

thankfulness

Today I am relishing the blessings that the Father continually heaps on us.

For eleven years since my love took me on a walk in a field and asked me to be his "girlfriend", the start of something-we knew not what.  Last night as we crawled under the covers Zach asked me if I would do it all again.  The answer was a resounding yes!

For lattes-with a dash of pumpkin spice and a pinch of cinnamon dolce- delivered right to my doorstop by a mother-in-law who serves us so well, even on her birthday

For this wondrous season, which fills my soul with delight and makes me think I can do just about anything.  The golden hues and chilly breezes are undeniably the work of our creator, painting his glory all across even this temporary home.

For the gentle snores coming from the rooms of our sick babies.  These germs and  and fevers are for the birds, but I'll take the extra cuddles.  Just when I think I can't love 'em anymore.

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on children and fears

Sometimes at night when I am tip-toeing up the stairs with a sleeping baby draped over my shoulder I am tempted to believe that they are mine; that I can protect them; and I can make sure that no harm ever comes their way.

I'm cuddling my little guy and administering regular doses of tylenol to make the cold and fever go away, but how do I teach him about the least of these--no medicine.  no full bellies.  and definitely no mama cuddles.

I'm making our sassy girl all cute and putting bows in her hair, but will she ever know what it's like out there for so many beauties?  We tell her that her beauty comes from a love that is inside her, from being made in the King's image.  Will she be heartbroken when she finds out that so many like her are told lies from the enemy-- that men only want one thing, and to be desirable is to give it up or worse, sell it to the highest bidder.

The truth is, my biggest fear is that the only thing I teach my children is that the American dream, wrapped in a picket fence, a college degree, and 1.86 children, is all there is.  Every day we walk the line between wanting our children to have every opportunity, and wanting them to be willing to give it all up for the calling of Jesus.  Don't get me wrong, the suburbs need the gospel.  I just don't want to fool myself into thinking that the gospel needs the suburbs.

We are still new at this, so the question remains:  Will giving our children every thing cause them to miss out on everything?

on moving and moving on

We like to consider ourselves frugal.  Dave Ramsey would be proud, as we managed to leave school with no debt and generally choose to buy things when we need them with what we have. 

So it would seem that we had lost our heads when we bought our house.  We became intoxicated by a dated, abandoned fixer-upper that promised more entertaining space.  A home that our children would grow in.

The dreams we had for our home should have foreshadowed something greater, but still we pressed on.  We spent a whole year in our house wishing for what it could be.  We saw potential and painted until we were drunk on the fumes, and even gutted a whole kitchen.

No sooner had we come home to our dream kitchen than the Lord began to tug at our hearts.  I remember a conversation with Zach right after we finished that massive project.  He teased and asked if I was ready to move anytime soon.  I shot back with, "Not unless we can take this kitchen with us."  Dramatic irony, if ever there was. 

We are so thankful for the time we have spent here on Fredericksburg Drive.  I love the mature trees that are starting to turn brilliant shades of gold as you make your way down our winding street.  I love that we brought our boy home from the hospital to a nursery that wasn't quite finished.  I love that I got to watch our Piper girl turn from a baby into a little girl full of curiosity in this playroom.  And I really love the kitchen that Zach and I poured every ounce of designer we have into.  And with that:

We are putting our house on the market.  

It seems weird saying it out loud.  Like when you repeat a word over and over again, until you begin to question whether it is really even a word at all.  The details are yet to fall into place, and we often ask one another whether what we are doing is foolish.  We are not sure when or how or who would want this place.

But God... We know that He is rich in His goodness.  We know that He has things in store for our family that are so much greater that our plans.  We know that Greer, just fifteen minutes up the road,  feels so close and so far away.

the beauty of living in community

We are smack dab in the middle of the unknown; a notion that has hit us like a ton of bricks as we have begun the process of developing community in a new place with new people.  People who are younger than us and cooler than us.

We sit on our hands and shuffle our feet, avoiding eye contact, as we make small talk about who we are and where we are coming from.  We try to find common ground and pray, simply, that someone will feel kindred.

The truth is, we were under the impression that we were still "young"; maybe even "hip".  College didn't seem that far removed, until we found ourselves breaking bread with college students.  And now it's not the studying and dorm life that I miss, but the open mindedness about the world we were entering as new adults--and the endless possibilities therein. 

We got in the car to come home tonight.  I immediately questioned my every move.  Is my laugh obnoxious?  Do you think our kids are too rowdy?  Perhaps we talked to much?  The enemy will play this track on repeat throughout the week-- his greatest weapon in drawing the believer out of the community that they so desperately need to survive.

The beauty of community is that it happens in spite of our insecurites and quirks because it centers on a common theme.  Ours is hope.  Hope in a sure thing, that King Jesus sits on His throne and He reigns.

our boy

In my return to the blogosphere, I dropped a small teaser.  ...baby No. 2.

He is here.  Our boy, Gabriel Paton, arrived in October, which means that we are coming up on one year with him in our lives.  It's cliche, but I'll say it.  It's like he's always been a part of us.

The past year with him has been pure joy.  Pure [tough, exhausting, and sleepless] joy.  We were instantly taken with this little guy.  He is sweet and gentle, and he has the greatest boyish grin.  I could go on.

Piper is the most loving and attentive big sister.  She and Gabe are always into something, and the sound of them making each other laugh is completely beautiful.

As for Mom and Dad, bringing home the second was something we couldn't have been prepared for.  At times, we have been ungraceful and have cried out to the heavens in desperation.  Mostly for lack of sleep, and often for lack of patience.

The past year has taught us about God's goodness and His grace.  We have learned that it is not about us.  Our resolve to pray for our children, for their salvation, and that they would live lives that are worthy of His calling has been strengthened.
 
And mostly, we love this family that the Lord has given us.

Gabriel Paton Gilliam official stats:  Born Saturday October 26, 2013 at 1:15 pm  8 lbs 14 oz and 21 inches of pure handsomeness.  

a time for parting

In my last post I alluded to some big changes that are happening in our lives, and last night we took a necessary step to "close one chapter", making way for the new and unknown.  It happened with a tearful prayer, "Lord, thank you for friends."

And with that, we shared with the members of our small group the news that our family is leaving the church that we have called home for the past 10ish years; since before Zach and I were married. 

We are currently at the intersection of joyful anticipation, and sorrowful parting.  To call the people in our small group friends, doesn't quite do it.  Family is closer.  "Bosom friends" whom we  have labored along side; who knew us before babies made us wiser, and tireder, and brought us home earlier at night.

Our prayer is that we would maintain those friendships, although we know things won't quite be the same.  And our pleading is that the Lord would keep us all, as we continue on in this race.

Church planting has always been dear to us.  As teenagers, we dreamed that our church planting would look like grass huts in far away places.  As newlyweds, the Lord showed us what it means to be "on mission" wherever He would plant us-- even if that was in our home town.  And now, we are excited to join dear friends who love a city just down the road from us. 

Stay tuned.  There is more to come as life continues to surprise us.

two years later

Well, it has not quite been two years since we all giggled at that little girl in her first costume:  the most adorable elephant.  And in those two years, everything has stayed the same and everything has changed.

I guess you could say that I have something of an excuse for keeping my thoughts to myself.  In these two years we have continued to watch our girl grow, and grow she has; we have moved, we've changed jobs, we are looking forward to moving and changing jobs again, and...drumroll...we welcomed baby No. 2. 

Life and busyness have taken their toll, stretched us to our ends, grown us in our love, and taught us more about the goodness and faithfulness of our God.

And while I am often satisfied to stay busy and chalk up this empty page to another mess that needs cleaning or another little one that needs cuddling, there is more to my silence.

The truth is, it is much easier to believe that someone else is more qualified to put words to these thoughts and struggles and triumphs.  To put it more simply, those other mamas are more glamorous; they have it together; they never yell at their littles; and they certainly don't go to bed without cleaning their kitchens.  What do I have to offer?

It is truly amazing the access that we have to information.  Imagine if our Christian predecessors could offer hope to one another via text messages or a blog post.  Would they, too, play the comparison game? 

So while I've been silent, I've still been reading.  Soaking up the wisdom and encouragement that others so willingly open themselves up to share.  And all the while, the evil one has been planting seeds of doubt.  Because that's what he does.

This isn't a pledge to post more and share cute pictures of my kiddos.  It is a plea for prayer and grace, something we all need, because I have yet to meet another human who has not, at one time or another, compared themselves against an impossible standard.  Praise be to the One who offered Himself up so that all He asks of us, He provides.