grace, as evidenced by a toddler

It's one of those days.  We've got cabin fever and sickness and sin-sickness all hidden deep down beneath the facade of a perfect, show-ready house.  I'm patting myself on the back for completely my weekly cleaning tasks and keeping the crumbs swept up, but on the inside I'm writhing at the thought of how I've "shown the gospel" to my children.

It was in the middle of a lunch-time rant that the Lord broke in, via my three year old.  I found myself hollering.  "Why won'
t you eat!?  We can't do this anymore!  Not 3 times a day!"

It was almost immediate.  I'd lost my cool and was disgusted with myself.  Their quivering chins and fighting back tears confirmed that I'd blown it.  I immediately asked for forgiveness, but still felt miserable. 

It seems, these days, like I'm asking for grace as much as I'm employing grace to fight my sin.  Why, Lord, don't we get it yet?

Piper speaks up.

P:  What can I do to help you mom?
Me:  You can EAT.
P:  Maybe we should pray for you.

The tears were instantly flowing.  And the prayer, although weak and desperate, was some of the sweetest I've known as I held each child's hand there at the kitchen table.

Isn't the Lord good?  He gives us extra measures of grace for each day, and sometimes they come in the form of a three year old who is, at times, wise beyond her years.  Thank you Jesus.

an update

We have put our house on the market.  Officially.

I shared here about God's goodness and His placing a calling on our lives.  The one we least expected.

As young, idealists who thought that we would never go the way of the picket fence, Zach and I were certain that our family would be raised in a hut somewhere far off.  And then maybe it was going to be that we took the gospel to the world of academia.  And then a bank job fell into our laps.

As marriage and the real world approached, it became apparent that a steady income would be ideal.  And each time we thought that a suit and tie would be temporary, until our adventures truly began, the Lord shut the doors.  Suddenly we had a family and were living in the suburbs.  And God has called us, wouldn't you know, further into the suburbs. 

He taught us, and is teaching us, that the mundane is rife with gospel need.  And He is showing us just how "adventurous" life in the daily grind can be.  Praise the Lord, He is always providing for our needs and has given us both jobs that we actually enjoy (although mine could use a pay raise).  Though we thought we would be going to the hard places, sometimes it seems as though the "easy places" are just as tough. 

So now we hurry up and wait.  In the first week, we showed our house 9 times.  This meant 9 times we had to get our house looking like no one actually lived in it while herding a 3 year old and a 1 year old and trying to get out of the house almost always in the middle of a nap or meal time.

We know that God is faithful, and will send the right buyer at the right time.  We feel certain that the right house for us is waiting in the Greer area.  We selfishly feel weary and desire to be settled.  So we pray, sometimes faithlessly, and ask for God to further reveal Himself to us in the details.

That being said, if you know anybody:

Click on the photo for details.

resolving

As January came in, and I was still reeling from the holidays and traveling and sickness, I began to think about those old, familiar [dreaded] resolutions that we make each year.  I love a new year and a fresh start, just like the next guy.  I clean out those closets and promise to read my bible and pray every day.  I make lists and organize our calendar all while researching and making new meal plans for us to shed those extra pounds.  I'm no sucker, knowing the success rate of resolutions among the human race;  I have hope in a clean slate. 

But those aren't the most important of my goals for the new year.  That most important of goals came to me tonight while I was putting away the kids toys, for the fourteenth time.  Today.  I was griping to myself.  I was grumbling about how no one appreciates the work I do and this job of being a stay-at-home mom isn't as glamorous as I thought it would be.  And then I recalled.

Matthew 5:16 – In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.

I resolve to be faithful in the work that the Lord has given me, for His glory and not my own.  I resolve to maintain a good attitude when my children aren't.  I resolve to show Jesus to my family and the people we encounter each and every day.  I resolve to let the light of the gospel shine before all men, that it might result in others glorifying our Father in Heaven.

Happy New Year!